Funny WhatsApp Status

Be funny, make your friends smile by putting funny whatsapp status. We have best collection of funny status for whatsapp, both in Hindi and English.

Status in English | View Hindi

I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.

Music, internet, food and sleep are important parts of my life.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Even the mightiest oak tree was once a nut like you.

A wife stands nude in front of her husband & says ‘I look horrible,I’m fat & ugly pay me a compliment.He replies ‘Your eyesight is perfect.

I wanna hug you and feel everything.

Anybody can make a mistake. It takes real dedication to make all of them.

Why God, why? Why beautiful girls don’t have brains!

His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig for it.

He saw me without problems,He created YOU.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones.

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.

After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.

I’d explain it to you but I’m afraid your head might explode.

I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.

Cry only for cuts and stitches not fot bastards and bitches.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Take care of Your Status, don’t be care taker of My Status

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Age has been the perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.

SARCASM: Just one of the many services i offer.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in a good position to kiss my ass!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.

Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.

Take out ‘N’ out of FRIEND, and you are cooked!

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.

Battery about to die, I am about to live !

Went to a fish market and shouted at them saying “What is this, a classroom?”, thereby maintaining the balance of the universe.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I want to get close with you like, shoes with laces,
teeth with braces or ASentenceWithoutSpaces.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

For Geeks!

Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius.

An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion!

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

CGPA available for adoption… can’t raise it myself.

Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Study economics-when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Mohabbat to sab karte hai par,Main karun to sala character dhila hai.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Status in Hindi | View English

Aaj bhi log hamari itni ijjat karte hain, Hum jise message karte hain wo Sir Jhukakar padhte hain!

WhatsApp par message utne hi karo ki berozgaar na lago

Aise mat dekho, lagta hai marinated murgi ko tandoor dekh raha hai.

Holi khelne ka shauk hai, par teri pichkari me dum nahi.

The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.

Hum tum mein itne ched karenge, ki confuse ho jaoge ke saans kahan se le aur paade kahan se.

Jo sheeshe ke ghar me rehte hain, woh basement mein kapde badalte hain.

Khuda Bachaye Hume In Hasino Se,Lekin In Hasino Ko Kaun Bachayega Hum Jaise Kamino se.

Babuji Exam se dar nahi lagta.. slow internet se lagta hai.

Yeh sala pyar ho gaya ki UPSC ka exam ho gaya pass hi nahin ho raha.

Dard hai to zandu balm hai aur,Zandu balm hai to munni badnaam hai

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